God and Adam

God and Adam 

God said, 'Adam, I 
Want you to do 
Something for Me.' 

Adam said, 'Gladly, 
Lord, what do You 
Want me to do?' 

God said, 'Go down 
Into that valley.' 

Adam said, 'What's a Valley?' 

God explained it to 
Him. Then God said,
'Cross the river.' 

Adam said, 'What's a River?' 

God explained that 
To him, and then said, 
'Go over to the hill....' 

Adam said, 'What is a 
Hill?' 

So, God explained to 
Adam what a hill was. 

He told Adam, 'On 
The other side of the 
Hill you will find a 
Cave.' 

Adam said, 'What's a 
Cave?' 

After God explained, 
He said, 'In the cave 
You will find a woman.' 

Adam said, 'What's a Woman?' 

So God explained 
That to him, too. 

Then, God said, 
'I Want you to 
Reproduce.' 

Adam said, 'How do 
I do that?' 

God first said (under 
His breath), 'Geez.....' 

And then, just like Everything else, 
God Explained that to Adam, as well. 

So, Adam goes down 
Into the valley, 

Across the river, and 
Over the hill, into the 
Cave, and finds the 
Woman. 

Then, in about five Minutes, he was back. 

God, His patience 
Wearing thin, said 
Angrily, 'What is it 
Now?' 

And Adam said.... 

* 

(YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS!!!!!!) 

* 

* 

'What's a headache?'

Sorry Wrong Number

The Darling Mothers The worried housewife sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear. "How are you, darling?" it said. "What kind of a day are you having?" "Oh, mother," said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears, "I've had such a bad day. The baby won't eat and the washing machine broke down. I haven't had a chance to go shopping, and besides, I've just sprained my ankle and I have to hobble around. On top of that, the house is a mess and I'm supposed to have two couples over for dinner tonight." The mother was shocked and was at once all sympathy. "Oh, darling," she said, "sit down, relax, and close your eyes. I'll be over in half an hour. I'll do your shopping, clean up the house, and cook your dinner for you. I'll feed the baby and I'll call a repairman I know who'll be at your house to fix the washing machine promptly. Now stop crying. I'll do everything. In fact, I'll even call George at the office and tell him he ought to come home and help out for once." "George?" said the housewife. "Who's George?" "Why, George! Your husband!... Isn't this 223-1374?" "No, this is 232-1374." "Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I have the wrong number." There was a short pause and the housewife said, "Does this mean you're not coming over?"

Difference between wife and girl friend.

* A Wife is like a TV * 

* A Girlfriend is like a MOBILE * 

At home you watch TV, but when you go out you take your MOBILE 

When you have no money, you sell the TV and when you have got money you change your MOBILE


Sometimes you enjoy TV, but most of the time you play with your MOBILE 

TV is free for life, but for the MOBILE, if you don't pay, the services will be terminated! 

TV is big, bulky and most of the time old! 

But the MOBILE is cute, slim, curvy and very portable 

Operational costs for the TV are often acceptable, but for the MOBILE it is often high and demanding 

TV has a remote, MOBILE doesn't 

MOBILE is a two-way communication (u talk and listen), but with the TV you MUST only listen (whether you want to or not). 

Got A Surprise For You Honey (Visual Joke) 

. 

. 

. 

. 

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Now you can open your eyes! 

Why Two Wives..

An Economist explains his reason for having TWO WIVES... First - Monopoly should be broken... Second - Competition Improves the Services... Now u can LOL..

The Most Obedient

Who is the most obedient There was a father who called his 5 small children together. As they sat together in a circle on the floor the dad placed a toy in the middle. He explained to them that he won this toy as a door prize and he wanted to give it to one of them. He asked them "who is the most obedient?" Five sets of eyes looked up at him. Sensing that they didn't understand the word he then asked, "ok, who always obeys mommy, and does everything she says?" One of the children picked up the toy and handed it to the father. "You win!" exclaimed the child.

Truth about Men and Women

The truth about Men and Women 

First Men: 

1. All men are extremely busy. 

2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women. 

3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them. 


4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one Around. 

5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others. 

6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off If the women leaves them. 

7. Although the women leaves them they still don't learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others. 


Now Women: 

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security. 

2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes. 

3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear. 

4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully. 

5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "An old rag". 

6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still expect you to compliment them. 

7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you!

Man throwing knives on his wife

A man was throwing knives on his wife pic.... 

all were missing d target.... 

Suddenly he received a call 

from his Wife 

Wife: hey wht r u doing?? 

he honestly replied...... 

"JUST MISSING U" 

After Engagement and After Marriage

AFTER ENGAGEMENT: 

SHE: I waited so long for this. 

HE: Do U want me to leave? 

SHE: No. never! 

HE: Do U love me? 

SHE: Yes I did, I'm doing & I'll do. 

HE: Did you ever cheat me? 

SHE: I would rather die than to do it. 

HE: Will you kiss me? 

SHE: Surely, it's my pleasure. 

HE: Will you hurt me? 

SHE: No way, I'm not such a kind of person. 

HE: Can I trust you? 

SHE: Yes. 

HE: Oh, Darling! 

To know AFTER WEDDING: 

>>Read from bottom to top<<

The Gender Discrimination

The gender discrimination 

IF A GIRL LAUGHS LOUDLY, 
SHE IS CHEERFUL. 
IF A BOY LAUGHS LOUDLY, 
HE IS MANNERLESS. 

IF A GIRL TALKS SWEETLY, 
SHE IS CHARMING. 
IF A BOY TALKS SWEETLY, 
HE IS A FLIRT. 

IF A GIRL IS SILENT, 
SHE IS SAD. 
IF A BOY IS SAD, 
HE IS BEING RUDE. 

IF A GIRL WALKS INTO A GROUP, 
IT IS A GROUP. 
IF A BOY WALKS INTO A GROUP, 
IT IS A "GANG".

Define Check Mate.

DEFINE CHECK MATE. When you tell your wife that you saw a lady  on the street who looked exactly like her  and your Wife asks, "Was she hot?"  . . . . . . . You can't say NO, neither can you say YES. CHECK-MATE!

Wife:Where Are You?

Wife (on the phone): Where the hell are you, jerk? 

Husband: Darling, you remember that jewellery shop where you saw that necklace and totally fell in love with it and I didn't have money that time and I told you, "Baby, it'll be yours one day!" 

Wife: Suddenly in a soft polite voice "Yeah, yeah, I remember, my love!" 

Husband: I am at the bar just next to that shop! 

Wife: Go to hell, you jerk!

New drugs 4 MEN created by WOMEN

New drugs 4 MEN created by WOMEN 

Scientists beware! 

ANIVERSIA :- Triggers memories of birthdays and anniversaries. 

SLIMOXIL :- Widens male cornea making wives appear slim. 

SPORTOBLIND X :- Reacts with optic nerve to prevent men from recognizing the word "sports" on TV. 

WORKOCETAMOL :- Generates an insatiable desire in men to do household chores. 

SHOPHOFOBEX :- Makes men eager to take wives for shopping every week and wait patiently. 

FLIRTONATE-N :- It makes a black covering in the eyes when a girl is passing by :)

Couple to Love, Honor and Obey

To Love, Honor n Obey 

A Young Couple Were Having Their First Fight 
And this Was A Big One 

After A While, 
The Husband Said: 

"When We Got Married, 
You Promised To Love, Honor and Obey" 

His Bride Replied: 

"I Know But I Didn't Want 
To Start An Argument In Front 
Of All Those People at theWedding" 

7 True Facts About Girl Friends

7 True Facts About Girl Friends 

Believe It!- (Based on Research of Frustrated BF's) 

1. Most Important Thing For 
a GF Is FINANCIAL SECURITY ! 

2. Although This Is Important, 
They Still Go Out & Buy Expensive Clothes(And that too from their bf's budget) 


3. Although They Always BuyExpensive Clothes, According to them, they Never Have Anything Good To Wear ! (For that too BF is held responsible) 

4. Although They Never Have Nothing Good To Wear They Always Dress Beautifully ! 

5. Although They Always Dress Beautifully, They Are Never Satisfied ! 

6. Although They Are Never Satisfied, They Always Expect their BF To Compliment Them ! 

7. Although They Expect BF To Compliment Them, When They Do They Don't Believe Them ...