Santa goes to astrologer jyotishi

Santa:" Jyotishi key paas kundli dikhanegaya,,
Jyotish:" Tera naam Santa hai ??
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Santa:" Ji
Jyotish:"Teri biwi ka naam dolli hai ??
Santa:" ji
Jyotish:" teri 2 beti hain ??
Santa:" ji haa..
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Jyotish:" tune abi 10 kg chawal kharide hain ??
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Santa:" aap to antaryami hain
maharaj..
Jyotish:" dafa ho jao yaha se..
Agli dafa kundli lana, ration card nahin..." 

Definition of Love

Santa: What is difference between coffee shop & wìne shop?


Banta: coffee shop is the starting point of love and wìne shop is last point of love.

Santa and God

Santa: Log mujhe Bhagwaan samajhne lage hai....

Banta: Kaise pata? 

Santa: Main Park gaya to Log kehne lage- "Hae Bhagwaan, tum firr aa gaye!."

Santa and English

In Eng exam, Santa made sentences of Given WORDS as:

 1. WHAT - Sita ko Ram k saath dekh kar Pappu k mathay par WHAT par gaye

 2. KILL - Sonu ne Deewar par KILL thoak k tasveer tang di

 3. DIG - Paon phisal janay k wajah se Ramu farsh pe DIG gaya

 4. MY - Hum ne ghar k kaam k liye ek MY rakhi hui hai

 5. PUT: Kal Santa ne plant PUT ditta ;) =))

Banta and Wife

Biwi :- Janu Batao Tum Mujh Se kitna Pyar Karte Ho ??

Banta :- Bahut Jyada
Biwi :- Phir Bhi Kitna ??

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Banta :- Itna Ke Dil Chah Rha Hai Ki
Tumhari Jesi 1 Aur le Aaun!!

Santa and Doctor

Santa revisits d doctor... 

Doctor: Dawai pee li thi nahi? 
Santa: Nahi doctor sahab dawai to hari thi. 

Doctor- mera matlab hai dawai le li thi na? 
Santa- ha doctor sahab apne di, to maine le li thi. 

Doctor- are yar dawai ki sheshi kha li thi na? 
Patient- nahi doctor sheshi to bhari hui thi. 

Doctor- abe gadhe dawai ko pee liya tha na? 
Patnt- are dr sahab peeliya (juandice) to mu jhe tha! 

Santa Banta

Santa- Yaar, Meri Ghadi (Watch) Kho Gai 

Banta- Chalti Thi Kya 

Santa- Haa Yaar, Chalti Thi 

Banta- Tension Mat Le, Jarur Chal Kar Kahi Gai Hogi 

Santa and Gulabo

Santa and Gulabo Santa goes to Gulabo's home 'n' knocks the door Gulabo- "kon...?" Santa - "Main...!" Gulabo-"Main kon..?" Santa-"Leh dass! Ullu di pathi tu gulabo hor kon?"

Santa Banta

Santa Banta ne Hindi ka home work nahi kiya tha. Hindi teacher ne unko ped par ulta latakne ki saza di. Thodi der latakne ke baad Santa neeche gir gaya. Hindi Teacher: Thak gaye kya? Santa: Nahi pakk gaya !

Santa and Banta

Banta : Wo ladki deaf lagti hai. Main kuch kehta hoon, woh kuch aur hi bolti hai.

Santa : Kaise?
Banta : Maine kaha I Luv U, To woh boli “Maine kal hi naye sandal kharide hain”.

Santa and air India

Once Santa was going to Chandigarh from pune by a air-india plane.He was alloted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array.

But as soon as the Santa got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady.

After some time the old lady came and requested the Santa to leave the side seat.

But the Santa told, “I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave”.

The old lady then complained to the air hostess .The air hostess requested the Santa to leave that seat but Santa did not leave.

Then the air hostess went and told the asst. captain. He also came and requested, but in vain.

Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the ears of the Santa and the Santa immedietly left the side seat and returned to the middle seat.

Astonished, the airhostess and the asst. captain asked the captain afterwards what he told to the Santa?

Captain told, “nothing… I just told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh and all others will go to Jalandhar.”

Santa Searching for Hidden Camera

Wife caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room.

Wife : “What are you searching for?”

Santa : “Hidden camera!”

Wife : “And what makes you think that there are hidden camera here?”

Santa : “That guy on tv knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying, You are watching the Star World channel. How does he know that?”

Banta met the woman of his dreams

Banta called his friend Santa and told him that he recently met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?

Santa said, “Send her some flowers and a card and invite her for a home-cooked meal.”

Banta liked the idea, so he invited the woman of his dreams.

The day after the meal Santa calls Banta and asks about the meal.
Banta: “It was a flop idea.”

Santa: Didn’t the girl come to your house?

Banta: She did, but she refused to cook!!

Santa and Banta

Banta Singh : “Yaar Santa, last year the name plate outside your house read Santa Singh, B.A. This year it reads Santa Singh, M.A.When did you finish your Masters Degree?”

Santa Singh : You don’t understand. Last year my wife died, I put B.A. to indicate “Bachelor Again”. Then I took a second wife, So M.A. is “Married Again”.

difference between Liability and Asset

Banta: What is the difference between Liability & Asset? Santa: A drunk guy is a Liability and a drunk girl is an Asset!

Santa eating fish

After Eating Fish Santa Does not Drink Water Why? 

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Coz 
He Feared That Fish Will Start Swimming In His Stomach!

Santa is studying

Santa Mirror and Padayi Santa : Tu Mirror Ke Saamne Baith kar Padhta kyun Hai...??? Banta : Is K 3 Faide Hai... . . . 1. Sath Mein Revison Ho Jata Hai... 2. Khud Pe Nazar Rehti Hai... 3. Padhne Ke Liye Company Mil Jati Hai...

Santa and chor

Santa ke Ghar Chor aaya. Santa ne dekha to chor Bhaaga. Santa bhagte bhagte chor se bhi Aage nikal gaya. Santa: Saala Ek to Chori...... Upar se Race... Ye to mai hi jeetunga.....

Santa is Greater than Newton

Santa is Greater than Newton 

Newton:When we Throw A Ball in the Air, Why Does It Come Down? 

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Santa- There Is Nobody In the Air to Catch it...

Santa and Banta

Santa: I have two bad news for U, 
How should I tell you? 

Banta: Combine them. 

Santa: Your wife is cheating on both of us.