husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their wedding anniversary

A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their wedding anniversary. 

The husband decides to give his wife a gift, a tombstone, with the inscription: "Here lies my wife.....cold as ever" 

Later the furious wife bought a return present, a tombstone with the inscription: "Here lies my husband.....stiff at last"

Difference Between WIfe and clock

“Bivi aur ghadi mey kya faraq hey?”

Doosra Aadmi bola:

“Ek bigarti hai to bandh ho jati hai……Doosari bigarti hai to “SHUROO” ho jati hai”

Answering a wife is like

Thought for the day:

Answering a Wife is like,
Diffusing a BOMB...
One wrong move &,
BOOOOOOMMMM.....

Pyaar k side effects

Pyaar k side effects

1- Kisi or khoobsurat ladki/ladke
ko dekh nhi sakte...
agar dekha to shamat aa jayegi..
:p

2- So k utho to musibat ko batao...
Warna daant khana pakka... :D

3- Khana khaya ya nhi,sab hisab
do...
:>

4- Raat ko call pe bat kro, warna
phir shak... :(

5- Galti se b 12 baje k baad
number bzy gaya to beta tu kaam
se gaya..
:O

Wife not well

Wife: I am not feeling well.

Husband: Ohhoo, I was thinking of going for dinner.

Wife: I was joking dear.

Husband: Me too,;)

chal utth ! rotti paka shabash. :)

When India Will Become Corruption Free

Three old men went to see God.

The first old man, an American, asked God when will his country come out of
recession. 
"100 years," God said.
The American started weepingprofusely. "I will not live to see that day"

Second man, a Russian askedGod"When will my country become prosperous?"
"Fifty years," came the reply.
Russian too started weeping profusely. "I will not live to see that day"

Finally the Indian asked God,"When will my country become
corruption-free ?"
God started weeping profusely. "I will not live to see that day"

Wife is like electricity

Wife is like electricity,
if handled with care they will light up your life,
but if mishandled will give you shocks throughout your life.

Guess what is it

I saw it with my eyes
but
couldn't understand it..
.
took it in my hand
but
couldn't
understand it..!
.
.
.
Thought for a long time
but
didn't understand it..
.
.
It is not a dream..
.
.
It is not love..
.
.
It is not even friendship..
.
It was
.
.
"The Question Paper"

A husband and wife were involved in an argument

A husband and wife were involved in an argument both of them unwilling to admit that they might be wrong.

"I'll admit I was wrong", the wife told her husband in a conciliatory attempt at straightening things out, "If you'll admit that I'm right!"

He agreed and like gentlemen do, he let her go first.

"I'm wrong", she said.

With a twinkle in his eyes he said, "You're right!"

Woman's view about her husband

From a woman's point of view

- The most perfect man in the world is her father. :)

- The most abused husband in the world is her brother. :p

- The most handsome man in the world is her son. ;)

- The luckiest and happiest man in the world is her sister's husband. :D

- The most thankful man in the world is her son in law.

- And the worst, most selfish, heartless, total jerk and the man with worst behavior in in the world in her husband.

Lessons from 3 idiots

Teacher: ‘3 idiots’ film dehknay ke baad aap ko kya lesson mila?

Pappu: miss yehi ki..Enginering padh kar bhi medical ki ladki fasai ja sakti hai :D
.
.

Miss: shut up & get out.

Babloo: miss mein bataon..?
Miss: very good, batao..




Babloo: miss college ke 1st day Underwear zaroor pehna chahiye :D
.
.
.
Miss: u also get out.

Shamu: miss mein bataon..?
Miss: I think u are a brilliant student.. tum sahi batao gay..
.
.
.
Shamu: Miss doctor ke elawa Engineer bhi delivery kar sakta hai!
Miss: u also get out.

GUDU: Miss mein bataon. Miss: HAAN BATAO...
.
.
.
GUDU: FRENCH KISS MEIN NAAK BEECH MEIN NAHI AATI. ;-)

Students Rock!!

Agar Doctor film banana start kar de to film ka naam hoga

Agar Doctor film banana start kar de to film ka naam hoga

Paralyzed ho na ho
Hum blood de chukka sanam
Mari yaar ke endscopy hai
Kaho na Diabetes hai
Kash ap hamara patient hoti
Pregnant banaya apna
Kabhi ICU Kabhi CCU
Hamara stethoscope apke pas hai
Operation to hona hi tha
Phir haddi fracture
Om surgery Om
Hypertension for you.

If the Government Stops Funding Space Exploration

If the Government Stops Funding Space Exploration

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My Belt When I need to pee

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Santa and Banta

Banta : Wo ladki deaf lagti hai. Main kuch kehta hoon, woh kuch aur hi bolti hai.

Santa : Kaise?
Banta : Maine kaha I Luv U, To woh boli “Maine kal hi naye sandal kharide hain”.

Santa and air India

Once Santa was going to Chandigarh from pune by a air-india plane.He was alloted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array.

But as soon as the Santa got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady.

After some time the old lady came and requested the Santa to leave the side seat.

But the Santa told, “I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave”.

The old lady then complained to the air hostess .The air hostess requested the Santa to leave that seat but Santa did not leave.

Then the air hostess went and told the asst. captain. He also came and requested, but in vain.

Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the ears of the Santa and the Santa immedietly left the side seat and returned to the middle seat.

Astonished, the airhostess and the asst. captain asked the captain afterwards what he told to the Santa?

Captain told, “nothing… I just told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh and all others will go to Jalandhar.”

Santa Searching for Hidden Camera

Wife caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room.

Wife : “What are you searching for?”

Santa : “Hidden camera!”

Wife : “And what makes you think that there are hidden camera here?”

Santa : “That guy on tv knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying, You are watching the Star World channel. How does he know that?”

Why Yoga is not Good

‎99 saal ka budda marne k bad
SWARG ki ronak or APSARAO ko dekh kar bola-

"Ye Sala Ramdev Baba ke Chhakar Me Na Pada Hota To; Sahi Umar Me Yaha Aa Gaya Hota."

Banta met the woman of his dreams

Banta called his friend Santa and told him that he recently met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?

Santa said, “Send her some flowers and a card and invite her for a home-cooked meal.”

Banta liked the idea, so he invited the woman of his dreams.

The day after the meal Santa calls Banta and asks about the meal.
Banta: “It was a flop idea.”

Santa: Didn’t the girl come to your house?

Banta: She did, but she refused to cook!!

Santa and Banta

Banta Singh : “Yaar Santa, last year the name plate outside your house read Santa Singh, B.A. This year it reads Santa Singh, M.A.When did you finish your Masters Degree?”

Santa Singh : You don’t understand. Last year my wife died, I put B.A. to indicate “Bachelor Again”. Then I took a second wife, So M.A. is “Married Again”.

Donkey on Phone

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