Rupee Dollar Rakhi Funny

Breaking news .
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The only way
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to save the Rupee
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tie a rakhi to the Dollar.
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. "Meri raksha karna!"

How many apples can you eat in empty stomach

Boy: How many apples can you eat in empty stomach?

Girl: I can eat 6 apples.

Boy: you can eat only 1 apple in empty stomach

bcoz when you eat the 2nd apple that's not in empty stomach.

Girl: waow super joke I'll tell my friend.

Girl to Other Girl: How many apple can you eat in empty stomach?

Other Girl: I can eat 10.

Girl: pagal 6 bolti toh mast joke sunati...!:D:D

Indian Poor League or Indian Premier League

Indian Poor League 

or

 Indian Premier League

Himmatwala joke on tickets

Ticket seller- Boss, no one buying

'Himmatwala's tickets

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Boss- Give it free,

Once public enters,

close the door & Start selling EXIT tickets @ Rs. 200 

Revenge with teacher

A teacher broke traffic signal

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Police officer arrest her

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Teacher please let me go "I am a teacher"

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Police officer "oh ho i have waited this moment whole year"

Now write 10000 times that

"I WILL NEVER BREAK TRAFFIC SIGNAL AGAIN"

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This is called Revenge...

Shortest Love Story

Shortest love story..

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He proposed,

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She smiled,

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No teeth, he died! xD :P

Angry Moment with small kid

That Angry Moment..

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When a small kid hits u without any reason in front of his mom&

u cant do anything but smile n say

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"kitna cute hai (Sala kutta)":p :O :/ :D

Best misconception in teacher life

One of the best misconception in teacher's

life.. :O

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They think sending student out of the class

is a punishment.. :p :p Lol :P

Not scared of proposing a girl

I am not scared of proposing a girl

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But saala

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agar wo maan gayi to kharcha kaun

kare...:D :P

Exams ke ek din pehle mujhe hosh aaya

Exams ke ek din pehle mujhe hosh aaya socha meine bohot aur cheating karne ka plan banaya..

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bathroom mein kardi meine cheating ki setting

aur ab bus karni thi mujhe bathroom jane ki acting..

Exam paper dekh ke meri ankhon ke aage andhera chaya..

kya bataon paper tha physics ka aur mein chemistry le aaya... :p :O :D :D

Woman finds Aladdin's magic lamp

Woman finds Aladdin's magic lamp. 

She starts rubbing it and a Genie comes out as usual. 

As usual, the Genie grants her a wish:-

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Woman: " I want my husband to have eyes only for me.........I want to be the only one in his life.......I want him to sleep always by my side.........I want that when he gets up in the morning I'm the first thing he grabs and takes me everywhere he goes........."

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The Genie turned her into a BLACKBERRY 

Always Brush your teeth

Dream makes everything possible, 

Hope makes everything work,

Luv makes everything beautiful,.

Smile makes all the above....

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So always Brush ur Teeth=D =))

Walking to school on a Monday

Walking to school on a Monday 

and 

Walking home from school on Friday.

9 interesting confusions

9 interesting confusions :s

1. Can u cry under water?

2. Do fishes ever get thirsty?:s

3. Why dont birds fall of trees when they sleep?/:)

4. Why is it called building when it is already built?:/

5. When they say dogs food is new and improved, who tastes it?=))

6. If money doesnt grow on trees then why do banks have branches?:x

7. why does round pizza come in a square box?:p

8. Why doesnt glue stick 2 its bottle?:>

9. "I Love You" is not a question thn why does it need an answer?:O=)) ! !

In Biology practical exam

In Biology practical exam .

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Teacher: Is panchi k tange dekh k bataao ki iska naam kya hai,

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Papu: Tange dekh k kaise bataao be.??

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Teacher: NAALAYAK!!

Tumher zero milta hai Apna naam bataao.!!

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Papu: Ye le meri taange dekh k likh le

Define Management

Teacher: Define Management?
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Pappu: Pura nahi aata, aakhir ka yaad hai...
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Teacher: Chalo koi baat nahi, aakhir wala hi suna do...
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Pappu: ummmmmmmmmmm... -............... -.and this is called Management...:p -:D:D

Our incredible INDIA..

Our incredible INDIA...?
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-The smartest students pass with 1st Class and get admissions to Medical and Engineering colleges..
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-The 2nd Class students get MBAs and LLB's to manage the First Class students..
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-The 3rd Class students enter politics and rule both 1st and 2nd Class students..
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-The Failures join the underworld and control politicians and businesses..
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-Those who did not attend any school, become Swamis and everybody follows them..

I’m not addicted to Facebook

I’m not addicted to Facebook.I only use it
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when I have time. . :)
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lunch time, break time, bed time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time. :p :p :p

Like if u agree

A man was granted two wishes by God

A man was granted two wishes by God. He asked for the best drink and the best woman ever.
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. He got mineral water and Mother Teresa.
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Moral: Be Specific :D

I am a great fan of Thomas Edison

Im a great fan of Thomas Edison,

Because of his quote that…!!
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Tomorrow is my exam but I dont care
Because a single sheet of paper cannot decide my future...:p :O :

My Brain is Like Bermuda Triangle

My Brain is Like Bermuda Triangle,

Information goes in and then it's never found again.

Indian engineers rocks

"Once in a soap industry in Japan,
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The soap cover was mistakenly packed without
soap in it
i.e empty box.
To avoid the problem in the future
Engineers purchased X-Ray machine of 60
thousand dollars to check whether soap is Packed
in every cover or not in assembly line.
Same problem occurred in India..What did they
do?
Indian Engineers simply put a fan beside d
assembly line&Empty boxes were flown away!
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India Rocks :)"

ek ladke ne kiss kiya

Girl:"mom aaj 1 ladke ne mere gaal pe kiss kiya
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.Mom:"tune usko chata mara ya nahi
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.Girl:"mujhe achanak Gandhi ji yaad agaye aur maine dusra gaal aage kar diya..:p :D :O :D

How it Looks and How it Feels

How it Looks and How it Feels

A boy was teaching maths to a girl

A boy was teaching maths to a girl...
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He kissed her, again he kissed her n said, this is addition then the girl kissed him n said,
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this is substraction, 
then they kissed each other n said, this is multiplication,
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suddenly the girl's dad came beat the boy threw him away n said this is called DIVISION... :D:D

"Pyar" Ek Aisa Word Hai..

"Pyar" Ek Aisa Word Hai..
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Agar Ladka Samajh Jaye To Ladki
Nahi
Samajhti,
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Aur.,
Agar Ladki Samjhe To Ladka Nahi
Samajhta,
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Aur
Agar Dono Samajh Jaye To Ye Duniya
Wale Nahi Samajhte

Tourist asks a boat man

A tourist asks a boat man"Do u know biology,psychology,geology and criminology?
"D boatman said NO 2 all of the questions.
tourist said "what the hell you know ,mmh? u will die illiterate!".

After a while d boat started sinking, d tourist started panicking and d boatman asked d tourist. "do you know swimology and escapelogy 4rm crocodiology?"
the tourist said NO!

Boatman thn said:"well, u'll drownology as crocodilogy will eat youology and you wil dieology bcos of your bigmouthology. xD

It does not matter how many resources you have

It does not matter how many resources you have .

If you don't know how to use them, it will never be enough.

Santa goes to astrologer jyotishi

Santa:" Jyotishi key paas kundli dikhanegaya,,
Jyotish:" Tera naam Santa hai ??
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Santa:" Ji
Jyotish:"Teri biwi ka naam dolli hai ??
Santa:" ji
Jyotish:" teri 2 beti hain ??
Santa:" ji haa..
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Jyotish:" tune abi 10 kg chawal kharide hain ??
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Santa:" aap to antaryami hain
maharaj..
Jyotish:" dafa ho jao yaha se..
Agli dafa kundli lana, ration card nahin..." 

todays boys and girls

Boy:" hey, i love u,
meri gf banogi.. ??
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Grl:" hmmmm!
Apna number de do,
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jab current bf se break-up hoga
to miss call kar dungi...:p :/:O :D

physics easy hoti

Sochiye Physics Kitni Easy Hoti......
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Agar...
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Apple Ki Jagah Ped Gira Hota Aur
Newton Wahi Nipat Gaya Hota..:D:P

3 Idiots Facebook scene

Must Read

3 Idiots Scene-
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Aamir Khan--*Smiling* -.
Teacher--Aap Muskura kyu rhe hai?

Aamir Khan--Bohat Dino se FB Page ka Admin banne ki iccha thi,,aaj Ban gya hu,,bht maza aa rha hai.
Teacher--jyada Maze Lene Ki Zarurat nahi hai....ok Tell me What is a Post?

Aamir Khan--Anything that is posted on Facebook is Post Sir.
Teacher--Can you Please elaborate?

Aamir Khan--Sir,,jo bhi Facebook pe log daalte hai wö post hai sir....Ghumne gye toh photo daal diya!!! Post hai Sir. . .Match dekha Score daal diya!!! Post hai Sir. . .Sir actually hum post se ghire hue hai sir!!!. . .Katrina ki Pic se Ronaldo ki Kick tak!!! Sab post hai sir!!! Ek second me Comment,ek second me like!! Comment-like comment-like.
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Teacher--Shut up! ADMIN banke ye karoge??? Comment-like comment-like. . .Hey chatur tum batao?
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Chatur--Picture -s,texts or Videos posted through Mobile or Tablet or laptop or desktop via Different Operating system using Internet on Facebook is called a Post.

Teacher--excell -ent.!
Aamir Khan--par sir maine bhi toh wö hè bola seedhe shabdo mein.
Teacher--Seedhe -shabdo me karna hai toh kisi aur page ke admin bano.;>

Aamir Khan--Par sir dusre admin bhi toh.
Teacher-Get out!
Aamir Khan--why sir?
Teacher--Seedhe -Shabdo me bahar jaiye.
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*Aamir Khan goes out and Comes Back*
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Teacher--kya hua?
Aamir Khan--kuch Bhul gya tha sir.
Teacher--Kya?
Aamir Khan--An Utility button given us to protect our Private data. i.e pictures,messag -es or personal
Information for being stolen or Used for bad purpose by hackers or anyone else.
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Teacher--kehna kya chahte ho??
Aamir Khan--logout sir!!! Logout karna bhul gya tha.:p
Teacher--seedha -seedha ñî bol sakte the.?
Aamir Khan--thodi der pehle try
kiya tha sir,aapko pasand nahi aaya :D :P

A Man dies and goes to hell

A man dies & goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each
country.

He goes to the German hell and asks,
"What do they do there?"

He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour..
Then they lay you on bed of nails for another hour.
Then the German devils comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."

The man doesn't like it, so he moves on and checks out the American hell, the Russian hell and hells of other countries.

He finds that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Indian hell and
finds that there is a long queue of people
waiting to get in.

Amazed, he asks "What do they do here ?"

He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour..

Then they lay you on bed of nails for another hour.
Then the Indian devils comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."

"But that is exactly the same as the other
hells, so why are so many people waiting to get in here? ". Wonders the man

He is told, "Because the maintenance here is so bad that the chair doesn't work,

Someone has stolen all the nails from the bed And the Indian devil is a former Government servant, So he just comes, signs the attendance register and then goes to the canteen." :P

Height of facebook addiction

Height of facebook addiction:

A Boy's facebook status: "I am online during economics lecture... Ha Ha Ha!!!"
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Comment from his professor:"Get out of the class!"
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Dean liked the comment.
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Friends commented: "Jaldi cafe aaja, mahol ekdum fit hai..."
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Mother commented: "Nalayak, class nahi karni to sabzi leke sidha ghar aa..."
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Father commented: "Dekh lo apne bete ki harkatein..."
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Girl Friend commented: "I hateyou, mujhse kaha Daadi hospital me hai, mil nahi sakta..."
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Daadi commented:"HaramKhor!!!"X ­D :-P:-D

Husband and Wife watching cricket IPL match together

Husband wife watching an IPL match together

:After 5 minutes:

Wife: Is this Bret Lee?

Husband: No, this is Chris Gayle, Bret Lee is a bowler. 
Wife: Okay, oh look, another wicket.

Husband: No, this is just a replay of the last one.
Wife: Hmm, looks like Indians going to win this one.

Husband: It's Bangalore vs Mumbai.
Wife: How many runs they need to win now?

Husband: 72 runs in 36 balls.
Wife: Eh! That's easy, just 2 runs in 1 ball.

Husband:*Turns off the TV*
Wife: Turns it on again and starts watching "mogali rekulu(Daily serial)"

Husband: Who is girl here ?
Wife: Don't disturb me..

Why Ladies First

2 Lovers Ne Suicide Ki Planing Ki..
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Boy Jumped 1st, Girl Close Her Eyes
&Returnd..
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Boy In Air Opened Parashute&Said Mujhe
Pata Tha Chudail Tu Nahi
Kudegi..
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From that day onwards people
started saying LADIES FIRST..:p :O :D

Ladies in Park Gossip

A lot of ladies used to sit together every evening in a park and talk non stop....

One day they were all sitting very very quietly.

A gentleman who would walk past the noisy group everyday was surprised to see

them all so quiet.... He inquired about this to which they replied,
"you see, today we r all present, so we don't know whom to gossip about...."!